Wednesday, June 13, 2012


 So, you are having a bad day.  Who's to blame?  And who's going to get the blame?

Well, how about no one or perhaps no one for a change?

Do I have people in my life whom I can call when I'm having a bad day or a bad moment?  And if the answer is yes, do I tell these folks what I need from them when I call?  So if I'm NOT looking for a solution for all my stupid decisions today, can I tell them, "Hey, I just want to vent.  No advice.  No need to point out anything to me at all.  Just feel sorry for me."

Let's say you are really down in the dumps.  Can you tell the person before you start whining, "Hey, look, I am thinking about killing myself....I am thinking about shooting my husband....I'm thinking about getting drunk and starting a fight with anyone....Hey, I'm thinking about suicide by cop, but I beg you do NOT call the paramedics, the SWAT team, my psychiatrist, my family, just let me do it and take whomever else I might take with me." 

And if you get this far in the conversation, can you dispense with the whining about how bad your life is?

So when you are having a bad day, can you just be totally honest with yourself and with everyone else?  You got yourself in a fix and don't know how to get out of it.  Can you get past all the woes are me, have woes will travel?  Can you just tell us what you need?  You know, to be held, a hug, a kiss, sex, chocolate ice cream, a pat on the back or the ass?  Responding to those needs is so much easier, less costly, and less messy, and generally doable compared to picking up the pieces after you do yourself in, so much easier to give than to have to listen to your whining and your incredible belief that somehow your life is any worse than anyone else's,

Does all this sound a little novel?  Well check out Chapter Seven in the Book:  "Know That Blaming Is A Way Out."

Need a book?  It's on AMAZON and BARNES & NOBLE and at the Paperback Exchange in Yucaipa on California Street just south of Yucaipa Boulevard.  You can also purchase the book at the office.

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