Eperiencing interdependence or intimacy is freedom. We are free of defensiveness, free of the fear of getting into trouble, free of making sure that we get in the first punch, free of having to win, free of all the negative images of ourselves that perhaps were once placed upon us by others, but in the mean time, we have adopted hook line and sinker, free of the fear of our partner leaving or abandoning us, free of the need to prove ourselves, free of the fear of losing my self in the relationship, and free of the fear of change. In this part of the dance, I am free to let go of my need to see reality only through my logical eyes or only through my emotional eyes. I am free to let myself move into experiencing reality more through my partner’s eyes. (Page 167, final chapter)
So when we are free to experience reality through our partner’s eyes, it does not mean that we give up our experience through out own eyes, but we are free to took through both sets of eyes, much like looking through binoculars rather than a telescope. Looking at reality through both sets of eyes gives us, not just a two dimensional perspective, but a three dimensional perspective. We are back to the “more” that we create as a couple in all elements of the relationship.
The fancy term for this is the principle of summativity. So when two individuals bring all of whom they are to the relationship, they end up creating a oneness that is beyond, that is more, beyond and more than the sum of the two individuals together. For me, that more is divine, and when we are willing to create that more, we answer God’s beckoning call to be not just a part of God, but one with God.
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