Thursday, July 5, 2012
DOOR NUMBER ONE, TWO, OR THREE?
Those who find themselves stuck in their relationship but are not willing to throw in the towel, can be categorized into three groups. I know, I hate categories as well. But sometimes it makes a point a little easier to grasp.
So I see us couples in three different groups. Some of us are FIGHTERS, some of us are in PREARRANGED MARRIAGES, and some of us are just STUCK.
Now, these groups do NOT appear to be in any way mutually exclusive–just like all those “silly” symptoms. As you read on about the different groups, I can hear some of you saying that you, in fact, have “membership” in all three! You insist upon not getting left out of any category! Some of you will insist that you are in only one group or the other, and some of you will insist that you fit into none of them. You are a couple all unto yourself, like no other! Ironically, that is the third category!
Obviously all of us are STUCK. We are not able to move forward and be in the relationship we so desperately want. But the couples who fall into the STUCK category are really stuck, particularly because they see themselves as so different from everyone else. They live in NO COUPLES LAND! (Page nine)
Chapter Three of the book covers the three groups in detail. Here we will just scratch the surface, give you a taste.
The first group, THE FIGHTERS, typically are not physically abusive. But they are hell-bent on winning whenever conflict arises. Just the thought of losing an argument drives them insane. The conundrum is simple. You be the winner all the time, and basically your partner is a looser. You hardly want that, do you? Or do you?
Then there are those of you who are in PREARRANGED MARRIAGES. Many of us are in prearranged marriages and we don't even know it. But the prearrangement of the marriage makes it impossible for us to grow where we want the relationship to take us.
Some of us believe our marriage was made in heaven. Well, that's as prearranged as you can get, and it is an awful experience when the relationship comes crashing down to earth.
Some of us are in prearranged marriages that were made in dot com heaven. There you are at the click of my mouse. My dream partner, Cinderella and Prince Charming.
Some of us simply believe we were meant for each other, and that also is prearranged somewhere in the big universe.
Now prearranged marriages are awesome. You just have to make room for the imperfection of the perfect match.
And then there is the STUCK GROUP. You desperately want to stay together, but for whatever reason you don't believe anyone or anything can support you staying together. As much as you want to stay together, you believe somewhere in your narcissistic hearts that you are doomed. I know, weird, but some of you can relate. We can all relate on some level and at any given moment in time.
So check out Chapter Three. You can get your own copy of the book on AMAZON or BARNES & NOBLE .
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Thanks for reading, commenting, and investing in your relationship.