NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE FROM YESTERDAY'S PICTURE OF
THE ONE ROCK, THE ROCK WHO WON!
Trying to fit compromise into a personal and or intimate relationship has a way of transforming the parties in the relationship into “countries” or prospective enemies especially if they can’t reach a so-called co-promise.
So when it comes to conflict and differences, we want to aim for and actually reach what is known as CONSENSUS.
You know, there is something really beautiful and artistic about consensus. In consensus (feeling with), you are not required to reach agreement. You begin “dancing” with your partner’s plan and you begin recognizing and identifying what you can live with in each other’s “plan” or desire or expectation or need. And then you make a decision, FREE OF CHARGE, to respond to the other person’s wishes within that context, the context of what you can live with. So it is not all or nothing. It IS what I can live with.
Just a few examples: Yes, I can live with us giving Johnny some consequences. I cannot live with you spanking him....Yes, I want very much to go on a cruise. Let’s do with it. And given what we have been going through financially, I just can’t live with us going first class....I want to make love to you, I enjoy making love to you and I can’t live with making love after nine o’clock.... The examples are endless, so fill them in for yourselves, and enjoy consensus. There is no score to keep.
Check out the final chapter of the book, “The Dance.”
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AMAZON OR BARNES AND NOBLE.
THANKS FOR READING, COMMENTING, AND INVESTING IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP.