COMPETITION: DOES IT FIT IN A RELATIONSHIP?

SORRY, BEING A WINNER DOESN'T ROCK!  WINNING IN THE RELATIONSHIP IS PRETTY LONELY!

Is your relationship one big competition, one big game where one or both of you are always trying to win?  Win what?  Yes, that is a good question.  There really isn’t anything to win and everything to lose (Chapter Eight, The Stalemate).

But let’s be realistic for a moment.  You like to win those arguments, doncha?   You like to control the outcome of questions and decisions, Yes?  Be honest!

Where we will go for vacation?  When and how often will we make love?  How and on what will we spend our “extra” money or how we will spend money, period?  Yes, the list goes on and on.  How to or not to discipline the kids is often a "bigee."

Remember, when your need to win wraps around these important issues, someone always ends up being a loser, and in fact the relationship loses for sure.  And some one becomes a control freak and someone builds a tower of resentments.

And do not shift from competition to compromise.  Compromise is a myth in my book.  There really is no such thing as compromise--promising mutually.  A compromise is never mutual.  Well, it is mutual in this sense.  You both agree that someone wins and someone loses!  What a deal, uh?

In short, we want to learn something called consensus which is much much different than compromise.  So check out tomorrow’s post.  See you there.


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