We think of a prearranged marriage as something that happens in foreign countries or cultures or something that happened in the “old days.” BUT many folks are in prearranged marriages. How can you tell? Well, lots of different ways, and a PREVIOUS BLOG addresses this topic and gives us an overview.
One type of prearranged marriage described in that blog is the “stuck couple.” In this marriage, neither partner likes the other nor the relationship itself. But they see no way out, and they believe there is NO way out. Somehow, the relationship is in cement (prearranged in that sense), and like the mafia solution when all else fails, the couple prefers to die in their cemented relationship and literally float to the bottom. Yes, they choose to live on the "bottom" of their relationship among all the whale poop, sunken ships, buried treasure, and a host of strange under water animals that will never see the light of day. You can only imagine what all this bottom debris represents in the relationship.
No one, not even God, says one or two must drown in their own ocean of despair, bitterness, anger, and resentment. God only said, let no man break up what God has brought together. The cement, that now holds you fast is perhaps a clear indication that God didn’t bring you together in the first place. Or if you insist that God did bring you together, then acknowledge that the two of you together systematically destroyed the relationship. It is okay to recognize and acknowledge the the relationship is no longer, and perhaps never existed in the first place. It is time to mourn either what we thought we had or perhaps what we did have. Time to mourn and let go.
This is not about divorce nor whether or not divorce is okay or a solution. This is simply recognizing that sometimes we try to build a sacramental relationship where there are no building blocks for such a relationship, or if there was, then we, for whatever reason, destroyed the relationship. It’s not healthy or Godly, to continue to pretend and to try to make something out of such destruction.
What do you think?
Check out Chapter Three “Three Groups.”
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